Celebrities. We all seem to know them and their complicated lives oh so well… so I thought I’d find four celebrities as prime candidates for my little ‘attachment styles’ demonstration. (keep in mind that I am obviously making quite large assumptions and I’m sure each celebrity would be highly offended if they knew of my little experiment). Anyway, so what I’ve done is found four celebrities who I think fit into each of the four attachment styles. So lets begin… Introducing our secure attachment candidate… Dr Phil!!! As all of us regular day time TV watchers may well know, Dr Phil is married to his college sweetheart Robin and has been for over 30 years. He has been quoted saying things like: “Robin keeps me pretty much in line. She is a great checkpoint for me, and she is one of the strongest, most intelligent and self-directed people I know. Robin is my Dr. Phil.” “we have such a great relationship because we love, trust and respect each other” Dr Phil makes it clear on his show and in interviews that he is happy to share his feelings with Robin and his secure attachment style has probably helped in making his marriage durable and satisfying.
Now for my example of a preoccupied attachment (high anxiety, low avoidance) style celebrity… Britney Spears! Poor Britney has been going through quite a hard time, what with her unsuccessful come back and the loss in the custody battle over her children, and unfortunately her love life isn’t going so well either. Britney married her back up dancer Kevin Federline just three months after the pair met! She immediately became obsessed with him and even paid for him to fly to… so she could see him a second time. She seemingly forced her love onto him (he said he wasn’t ready to propose to her so tried of waiting she popped the question!). She was constantly insecure about his love for her and she was suspicious that he was unfaithful. She was very clingy with him and had his children while she was still very young, but soon he had enough of her insecurities and divorced her. Britney clearly wanted and enjoyed the closeness she shared with K-Fed, however her high anxiety towards herself led to Kevin leaving her.
Next we have an example of the dismissing attachment style characterized by low self anxiety but high avoidance of others… our celebrity: Shane Warne! Warney clearly has no self directed anxiety like poor Britney did, (so he doesn’t fit the preoccupied style) however he still finds it difficult to form intimate relationships without jeopardising them, therefore I believe he fits nicely into this category. Shane hardly lacks self confidence, however he seems to be very good at separating sex and love. He seems to find it difficult to commit to his wife as he is continually unfaithful to her.
Last but not least we have the fearful avoidant attachment style, marked by high self anxiety and high avoidance of others. Welcome Michael Jackson! MJ displays many signs that he has high self anxiety (his numerous cosmetic surgeries, legal battles, and depression) and he also displays high anxiety towards relationships with others. Although he had several brief relationships, they appeared to be weak, with little emotion and intimacy.
So there you have it! Hope this helps you remember the four types of attachment styles.